rewrite and improve small text

I need to write and improve this small text answering the following question. Maybe use some information that would value my application from the university, such as extra curricular programs that I could enroll while studying there… how to grow and help the community, those kind of things that impress the admission officer.

– extra information

chosen academic program: Entrepreneurship

University: Loyola Marymount University


– Please briefly state your reason for wishing to attend LMU and how you came to choose your academic program.

what I have so far is:

LMU is the right choice for me and has the ideal environmental to fulfill my dreams and education in the field of business studies.

I believe the community life at LMU will help me to meet and to interact with people from diverse culture in a way I will grow as a human being and share this acknowledge and experiences in campus to other students and faculty members.

The professors at LMU will get to know me, probably by my name and they will take the time and truly care about my performance. They will inspire and encourage my growth and lead me to surpass mediocrity. Getting the opportunity to attend LMU will help pursuing my goals as an entrepreneur and also but not less important drive my contribution to impact others lives.

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